So when Eric and I moved to California I got a job as a caretaker. I work at an assisted living facility that includes three houses with six people in each house. Most of them are women but we do have three men. These men and women live at these houses for various reasons but most of them just need constant 24 hour care and we provide that. Anyways I adore my job. I love the people, I love the ladies I work with, and I love serving the men and women who live in the homes.They are incredibly sweet people and I can feel the spirit when I'm around them. Anyways there is a woman named Lavon who is on hospice and nearing the end of her life. This makes me extremely sad because she is an incredible human being with a great love for the Lord and I have gotten to know her quite well in the past couple months. One night I was working at the house where this woman lives and I was helping the residents into bed. Most of the girls I work with know that I'm married and so another caretaker was asking me questions about marriage because she was deciding whether or not the guy she was dating was "the one". Suddenly I hear a quiet scratching voice call my name. I walk over to Lavon and she takes my hand and asks "Are you married?". I told her yes, and then she asked me "Did you marry your best friend?", and I told her I did. She then started to tell me about her young life and how her and her husband started their lives together.

Lavon was 16 and a junior in high school when she found out that she was pregnant with her boyfriend's child. Her parents took her out of school and she never got the chance to graduate. Her boyfriend was 18 at the time and barely had graduated and decided to do what he thought was right and marry her. She said that they had a wonderful life together and had four beautiful girls. She said that her life turned out so much better than she expected and thought she deserved. She was very lucky to find a good man. But then she said, "But my husband wasn't my best friend." She continued to talk about how all they knew how to be was man and wife, and though that was good and she felt that she had a good life she wished that they could have been more than that. They didn't have the opportunity to grow together and learn how to work with one another before they were thrown into adulthood. She loved him and he loved her, but she wished that they had more together, more depth with the love they shared. "We were kids" she said, "We had no idea what we were doing and we didn't know quite yet how to work things out together." She then kissed my hand and told me she was so happy for me that I had found a man who could be my best friend as well as my husband, that I had someone to share burdens with me. Lavon is a wonderful woman, and she reminded me how lucky I was that I chose someone that I could grow with and who helped make life easier.

The reason why this whole thing came to mind was that yesterday a girl I work with was talking to me about a new guy that she was dating that she was crazy about! She is the same age as me (19) and this guy is 26. She asked me if I thought that was weird that they were seven years apart. I immediately assured her that shouldn't even be an issue! My brother was 26 when he married his wife, and she was 19, and they're awesome. Age is just a number, a 21 year-old man can act like a 14 year-old and an 18 year-old girl can act like she's 25. I'm know that people around me thought it was odd that 22 year-old Eric wanted to date 17 year-old me. But Eric didn't see the age because it didn't matter! We were on the same page! The only people who are really bothered by the age of their partner are more preoccupied what other people think.

She then started talking about how happy she was, but that she understood that this was kind of the honeymoon phase where you are just so dazzled with the other person, she then asked me when it changed for Eric and I and how we dealt with it. I couldn't really pinpoint a time where Eric and I started delving deeper into the relationship but I did know the answer to how we dealt with it and how we continue to deal with it. We grow together. Eric and I are not the same people we were when we first started dating. The thing about me and Eric is that we are very similar. We both have tempers, we bother are passionate about what we believe in, and we both are quite stubborn. Honestly I do not think anyone could handle me as well as Eric does! At the beginning of our relationship after the initial "oh my gosh you're perfect" phase we started really learning things about each other, about things we believed in. The number one cause of fights between Eric and I was politics. POLITICS. Isn't that ridiculous!? We just believed in different things because we were raised differently and we would get so heated about some things. When I think back on those arguments I just laugh because we were both being so immature. But now Eric and I can talk about those things in a calm manner and when we disagree, we discuss it, understand one another's side and we almost mold our opinions together to something we can both agree on. My coworker asked me how we got that way. I told her that it took time. Development like that does not happen overnight, and it can't be one sided,. Eric and I had to grow up, but we also had to grow together. We both had to understand and learn that even though we disagreed with one another we had to have the mind set that that was ok! It's ok to think differently than someone else. Heavenly Father gave us free will so that we can think the way we want to think.

It amazes me that Eric and I can now have discussions without our tempers boiling over because we grew together. But that took time, and a lot of maturing. I am very grateful that we dated for as long as we did before we got married, we needed that time to learn about each other. I know it made marriage a lot easier to transition into. I already knew so much about my husband. The only thing I didn't know was that Eric leaves food on the counter and wet towels on the floor. But I'm not perfect either. :) We're still growing, but I'm glad we're growing together, I think that's a very important part of a successful marriage. :)