40 weeks and 5 days...
I was so done being pregnant. My due date had passed and I felt I had tried everything to naturally induce labor. Long walks didn't work, castor oil is awful, and sex with an objective other than enjoying your spouse is totally lame. I was discouraged. I had been having contractions for four weeks prior, lots of false labor. The week before the baby came, a Wednesday, my contractions had gotten to be three minutes apart and pretty intense. We headed to the hospital only to be sent home a couple hours later. Eric and I had never felt so defeated, and I cried for the majority of the night. I had started to not trust in my body, I had no idea how to translate what I was feeling. How would I know I was actually in labor? When will he be here? How can I do this for much longer? The next day I ignored every phone call and text message from family and friends. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I sat in the baby's room for a long time just wishing something could happen.
On the following Tuesday I had my 40 week appointment, I was upset that I even had to be there. The midwife came in and said, "Ellen, I am so surprised to see you here". The reason she was saying this was at that point I was 3 1/2 cm dilated and the baby was extremely low and she knew I had been having contractions. We checked everything, she swept my membranes for the second time. Not gonna lie I was trying not to cry through the whole appointment, hormones people, and I'm pretty sure the midwife could tell. She told me to come back on Thursday since I was going to be 41 weeks that Saturday and we would talk about inductions. I was very grateful that she wasn't making me wait another week.
So on Wednesday night I knelt down at my bed and said a very simple prayer. "Heavenly Father, please let me get some good news tomorrow." I hardly slept that night. I was very uncomfortable, and every time I rolled over I had to pee. Probably slept a total of four hours. I woke up in the morning to a phone call from the midwives saying that the nurse practitioner I was going to see called out sick, so they asked if it was ok if I saw a doctor at another location. I did not care, just send me to see someone! I brought my mother-in-law with me because I cannot bring myself to argue with doctors so I know she would be a good advocate, because I was not about to go till 42 weeks. So we get there and the first thing we do is an ultrasound. The only ultrasounds I did were the regular black and white ones but at this office they did the 4D ones. Poor little baby was so squished, he had no more room! We saw his cheeks and his sweet little nose, he was perfect. They led us to one of the rooms and checked my vitals to discover that my blood pressure was a little high. Now I had had perfect blood pressure all throughout my pregnancy so this was a little surprising. She gave me a minute or two to try to calm myself down and they checked again, my blood pressure count was higher than the time before. The medical assistant said that she would tell the doctor and they might be sending me to the hospital to be induced for fear of Preeclampsia. I told her that I wouldn't argue with anyone if that was the case. So about fifteen minutes passed when the doctor came in. She let me know that she had called the midwives and let them know what was happening and that she was sending me to the hospital for induction. I was over the moon. I know it's horrible, Preeclampsia is no joke, it can cause serious complications, but I WAS GOING TO HAVE A BABY!
So she advised we go straight to the hospital, and to not stop anywhere. I called Eric to tell him what was happening, he was pumped he got to leave work early...oh and he was excited for the baby! I called my sister, Emily, who I invited to be in the room with me, and called my friend Annie who would be taking our birth photos. I could not stop smiling. We got to Mercy Gilbert, checked in and made our way to the third floor only to be told that there was a little confusion and they would be admitting me into triage and not straight into a laboring room. Oh that lady is lucky that I am trying to be like Jesus because I was pissed. Confusion? What confusion? The doctor at the office said that even if my blood pressure went back down that didn't mean that I was suddenly cured and the safest thing to do would be to deliver. So they hooked me up and put me in a bed. For two hours they monitored my blood pressure and it was getting worse. Granted it could have been because I was pretty frustrated and worked up at that point but after a time I was finally admitted.
I was planning a natural birth with no epidural. I had read books and tried my best to prepare myself. I had asked my sister to be a sort of doula to help me with my goal and I had a great support system in Eric and the midwives. I really was not worried, I was determined, I was ready to meet my son, and I knew that I was capable of a natural birth. So because I was already so dilated they used a gel that was meant to soften the cervix and help everything going. The contractions started getting closer and harder and it was ALL in my back. The baby was facing my belly, "sunny side up" and it causes all the contractions to be in your back. I was in for a hard labor. Eric and my sister took turns putting pressure on the base of my spine as each contraction came, and I put to work my breathing as I bounced on a yoga ball and leaned on the hospital bed. At this point the contractions were hard but I tried my best to focus on the break I would get between them, I was able to talk between them and was smiling and joking around with my sister. My blood pressure was unfortunately getting worse and the nurses were worried about seizures so they asked me to get back in the bed, which I was not happy about. The bed was the most uncomfortable place for me to be, and laying on my side made the back pain worse. I needed Eric to rub my lower back every time a contraction would come which was about every 75 seconds now. I wanted a completely unmedicated birth, I wanted to feel everything, but when they offered Stadol, the back pain was so intense that I took it. A couple seconds later I felt the effects and was able to sleep for a bit. As the Stadol wore off the contractions started returning and I had to get back into efficiently handling each contraction. Things were getting hard, I had started laboring at around 5 pm, and with the little sleep I had gotten I was so very tired. Eric would help me to the bathroom to pee and he would have to kneel in front of me as I grabbed him through each contraction. At some point the midwives checked me and I was only 4 cm dilated, so they made the call to use Pitocin. At the same time they put the Pitocin in my IV they gave me another dose of Stadol and I drifted off to sleep. About an hour and a half later my water broke. It was this loud pop and a punch of pain. I felt the water soak the bed. "MY WATER BROKE!" In a matter of moments I was thrown from my peaceful sleeping into full active labor. Annie went out to get my sister and said, "Ellen's water broke and she is freaking out." I was! The pain was so intense and it came out of nowhere, I had no time to prepare and build up to it, and I felt like I was going to throw up. I asked for an epidural...and when I say asked I mean I begged. The midwife knew what I really wanted, we had talked about it for weeks, she knew I didn't really want an epidural so she did her best in placing me in different positions to try to relieve some of the back pain but nothing was helping. The thing about back labor that's different from regular contraction labor is that there is no break. The pain comes in waves and gets so bad and when the contraction is over the back pain lingers. My quiet meditated breathing techniques went out the door, and as every contraction came the more noise I made. Eric says that I sounded like Goku from Dragon Ball Z when he does his power up thing (I've never seen the show, forgive me!). I was loud, but in my head what got me through it was the thought "Three long, loud yells and the contraction would be over". At one point my sister told me my mother came to the door and heard all the yelling and was so upset with me that I chose to do natural. She hated hearing the sound of me in pain. It was even worse for Eric. Imagine watching the person you love in that amount of pain and not being able to do anything. The midwife wanted to get me into the laboring tub, which initially I was so excited for when I was thinking of my labor, but it didn't help with the pain and now I was stuck in one place. I was sweating so much and was refusing water or ice. All I wanted to do was progress. The nurses and midwives were getting worried, they didn't want me to get dehydrated so Eric came to help me out of the tub so they could hook me up to an IV. As I was stepping out a contraction hit and I collapsed in Eric's arms. I held onto him as I yelled my way through it, all the while being encouraged to get into the bed. I really didn't want to, all I wanted to do was be on the floor. In my head I wanted to be on a flat service. This was the last time I begged for an epidural but it was too late now, the midwife told me I was 10 cm and fully effaced, I could start pushing. I didn't know what to do, how do I push a baby out? "Push it towards your bum!" With every contraction I tried my best to use every ounce of pain to push. What's funny is that pushing the baby out was the easiest part of my whole labor, because instead of just enduring the contractions I was now using them. They laid me on my back with my legs apart, which if you ask any of my friends or family that as I was preparing for labor I insisted that that was the worst way to give birth, which I still kind of think, but this was the only position where the back pain wasn't totally taking over. The only hard part of pushing was that at this point I had labored for 11 hours and I was so tired. When I think of it I don't know how I had the strength. After a bit we could see the baby's head. Eric was excited, "Ellen you can see his head! He has hair!" We were sure this baby would come out bald as Eric and I were both toe heads when we were born. I kept pushing, but we encountered a problem. I was taking too long of breaks between pushes and the baby would move in the birth canal but once I took a break he would go back in slightly. I started getting frustrated and crying, "What am I doing wrong?" I felt like they had been looking at his head for forever and I wasn't doing a good job in getting him out. A chorus of encouragement came all around me. Eric and Emily were at my feet telling me I was so close and Eric's mother, who initially was not apart of my laboring plan, was at my side patting a cloth with cold water on my forehead telling me how amazing I was doing. The pushing went on,and finally I could feel a difference, I felt the widening. I hear the midwife, "Keep going Ellen, make this your biggest push!" I took a couple breathes and pushed as hard as I could. One long push...two...three. Usually by the third push I would have to stop and breath but I could feel he was so close. It took everything in me to push a fourth time, then a fifth, and on that sixth push I felt him come out. Eric caught our sweet son, and I heard the most beautiful cry. He came out face up, and immediately opened his eyes. He was placed on my chest, and I just sobbed. It was over, he was here, and the relief over took me. I couldn't believe it.
Beckham Daniel Hunt was born on the 14th of October at 6:01 in the morning after thirteen hours of labor with no epidural. I did it. I can't believe I did it. When I look back on it, it doesn't even seem like it was me who experienced it, it's extremely surreal. Even though it was so hard, I feel like I have a positive birth story. The reason I wanted to do a natural birth was because I wanted to experience all of birth, every ounce of it. I marvel at the things a woman's body can do. We carry and grow children, we bear them, and then we are able to sustain them. How amazing is that? I really feel like nowadays women are so fearful of labor and childbirth, and yeah it's painful, of course it is, but our bodies are designed to withstand it and to conquer it. Pain for a purpose. It is so doable, and I'm so happy that I was surrounded with such an incredible support team who encouraged me that I was completely capable of birthing this baby.
We are so in love with our son, he is truly an angel. He's our own piece of Heaven and we are so grateful to God to have a chance to be earthly parents to one of his precious spirits. We also want to thank our dear friend Annie Ruby Photos for capturing all the emotion and beautiful moments we experienced that day. I'll treasure these photos and this video forever.
I was so done being pregnant. My due date had passed and I felt I had tried everything to naturally induce labor. Long walks didn't work, castor oil is awful, and sex with an objective other than enjoying your spouse is totally lame. I was discouraged. I had been having contractions for four weeks prior, lots of false labor. The week before the baby came, a Wednesday, my contractions had gotten to be three minutes apart and pretty intense. We headed to the hospital only to be sent home a couple hours later. Eric and I had never felt so defeated, and I cried for the majority of the night. I had started to not trust in my body, I had no idea how to translate what I was feeling. How would I know I was actually in labor? When will he be here? How can I do this for much longer? The next day I ignored every phone call and text message from family and friends. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I sat in the baby's room for a long time just wishing something could happen.
On the following Tuesday I had my 40 week appointment, I was upset that I even had to be there. The midwife came in and said, "Ellen, I am so surprised to see you here". The reason she was saying this was at that point I was 3 1/2 cm dilated and the baby was extremely low and she knew I had been having contractions. We checked everything, she swept my membranes for the second time. Not gonna lie I was trying not to cry through the whole appointment, hormones people, and I'm pretty sure the midwife could tell. She told me to come back on Thursday since I was going to be 41 weeks that Saturday and we would talk about inductions. I was very grateful that she wasn't making me wait another week.
So on Wednesday night I knelt down at my bed and said a very simple prayer. "Heavenly Father, please let me get some good news tomorrow." I hardly slept that night. I was very uncomfortable, and every time I rolled over I had to pee. Probably slept a total of four hours. I woke up in the morning to a phone call from the midwives saying that the nurse practitioner I was going to see called out sick, so they asked if it was ok if I saw a doctor at another location. I did not care, just send me to see someone! I brought my mother-in-law with me because I cannot bring myself to argue with doctors so I know she would be a good advocate, because I was not about to go till 42 weeks. So we get there and the first thing we do is an ultrasound. The only ultrasounds I did were the regular black and white ones but at this office they did the 4D ones. Poor little baby was so squished, he had no more room! We saw his cheeks and his sweet little nose, he was perfect. They led us to one of the rooms and checked my vitals to discover that my blood pressure was a little high. Now I had had perfect blood pressure all throughout my pregnancy so this was a little surprising. She gave me a minute or two to try to calm myself down and they checked again, my blood pressure count was higher than the time before. The medical assistant said that she would tell the doctor and they might be sending me to the hospital to be induced for fear of Preeclampsia. I told her that I wouldn't argue with anyone if that was the case. So about fifteen minutes passed when the doctor came in. She let me know that she had called the midwives and let them know what was happening and that she was sending me to the hospital for induction. I was over the moon. I know it's horrible, Preeclampsia is no joke, it can cause serious complications, but I WAS GOING TO HAVE A BABY!
So she advised we go straight to the hospital, and to not stop anywhere. I called Eric to tell him what was happening, he was pumped he got to leave work early...oh and he was excited for the baby! I called my sister, Emily, who I invited to be in the room with me, and called my friend Annie who would be taking our birth photos. I could not stop smiling. We got to Mercy Gilbert, checked in and made our way to the third floor only to be told that there was a little confusion and they would be admitting me into triage and not straight into a laboring room. Oh that lady is lucky that I am trying to be like Jesus because I was pissed. Confusion? What confusion? The doctor at the office said that even if my blood pressure went back down that didn't mean that I was suddenly cured and the safest thing to do would be to deliver. So they hooked me up and put me in a bed. For two hours they monitored my blood pressure and it was getting worse. Granted it could have been because I was pretty frustrated and worked up at that point but after a time I was finally admitted.
I was planning a natural birth with no epidural. I had read books and tried my best to prepare myself. I had asked my sister to be a sort of doula to help me with my goal and I had a great support system in Eric and the midwives. I really was not worried, I was determined, I was ready to meet my son, and I knew that I was capable of a natural birth. So because I was already so dilated they used a gel that was meant to soften the cervix and help everything going. The contractions started getting closer and harder and it was ALL in my back. The baby was facing my belly, "sunny side up" and it causes all the contractions to be in your back. I was in for a hard labor. Eric and my sister took turns putting pressure on the base of my spine as each contraction came, and I put to work my breathing as I bounced on a yoga ball and leaned on the hospital bed. At this point the contractions were hard but I tried my best to focus on the break I would get between them, I was able to talk between them and was smiling and joking around with my sister. My blood pressure was unfortunately getting worse and the nurses were worried about seizures so they asked me to get back in the bed, which I was not happy about. The bed was the most uncomfortable place for me to be, and laying on my side made the back pain worse. I needed Eric to rub my lower back every time a contraction would come which was about every 75 seconds now. I wanted a completely unmedicated birth, I wanted to feel everything, but when they offered Stadol, the back pain was so intense that I took it. A couple seconds later I felt the effects and was able to sleep for a bit. As the Stadol wore off the contractions started returning and I had to get back into efficiently handling each contraction. Things were getting hard, I had started laboring at around 5 pm, and with the little sleep I had gotten I was so very tired. Eric would help me to the bathroom to pee and he would have to kneel in front of me as I grabbed him through each contraction. At some point the midwives checked me and I was only 4 cm dilated, so they made the call to use Pitocin. At the same time they put the Pitocin in my IV they gave me another dose of Stadol and I drifted off to sleep. About an hour and a half later my water broke. It was this loud pop and a punch of pain. I felt the water soak the bed. "MY WATER BROKE!" In a matter of moments I was thrown from my peaceful sleeping into full active labor. Annie went out to get my sister and said, "Ellen's water broke and she is freaking out." I was! The pain was so intense and it came out of nowhere, I had no time to prepare and build up to it, and I felt like I was going to throw up. I asked for an epidural...and when I say asked I mean I begged. The midwife knew what I really wanted, we had talked about it for weeks, she knew I didn't really want an epidural so she did her best in placing me in different positions to try to relieve some of the back pain but nothing was helping. The thing about back labor that's different from regular contraction labor is that there is no break. The pain comes in waves and gets so bad and when the contraction is over the back pain lingers. My quiet meditated breathing techniques went out the door, and as every contraction came the more noise I made. Eric says that I sounded like Goku from Dragon Ball Z when he does his power up thing (I've never seen the show, forgive me!). I was loud, but in my head what got me through it was the thought "Three long, loud yells and the contraction would be over". At one point my sister told me my mother came to the door and heard all the yelling and was so upset with me that I chose to do natural. She hated hearing the sound of me in pain. It was even worse for Eric. Imagine watching the person you love in that amount of pain and not being able to do anything. The midwife wanted to get me into the laboring tub, which initially I was so excited for when I was thinking of my labor, but it didn't help with the pain and now I was stuck in one place. I was sweating so much and was refusing water or ice. All I wanted to do was progress. The nurses and midwives were getting worried, they didn't want me to get dehydrated so Eric came to help me out of the tub so they could hook me up to an IV. As I was stepping out a contraction hit and I collapsed in Eric's arms. I held onto him as I yelled my way through it, all the while being encouraged to get into the bed. I really didn't want to, all I wanted to do was be on the floor. In my head I wanted to be on a flat service. This was the last time I begged for an epidural but it was too late now, the midwife told me I was 10 cm and fully effaced, I could start pushing. I didn't know what to do, how do I push a baby out? "Push it towards your bum!" With every contraction I tried my best to use every ounce of pain to push. What's funny is that pushing the baby out was the easiest part of my whole labor, because instead of just enduring the contractions I was now using them. They laid me on my back with my legs apart, which if you ask any of my friends or family that as I was preparing for labor I insisted that that was the worst way to give birth, which I still kind of think, but this was the only position where the back pain wasn't totally taking over. The only hard part of pushing was that at this point I had labored for 11 hours and I was so tired. When I think of it I don't know how I had the strength. After a bit we could see the baby's head. Eric was excited, "Ellen you can see his head! He has hair!" We were sure this baby would come out bald as Eric and I were both toe heads when we were born. I kept pushing, but we encountered a problem. I was taking too long of breaks between pushes and the baby would move in the birth canal but once I took a break he would go back in slightly. I started getting frustrated and crying, "What am I doing wrong?" I felt like they had been looking at his head for forever and I wasn't doing a good job in getting him out. A chorus of encouragement came all around me. Eric and Emily were at my feet telling me I was so close and Eric's mother, who initially was not apart of my laboring plan, was at my side patting a cloth with cold water on my forehead telling me how amazing I was doing. The pushing went on,and finally I could feel a difference, I felt the widening. I hear the midwife, "Keep going Ellen, make this your biggest push!" I took a couple breathes and pushed as hard as I could. One long push...two...three. Usually by the third push I would have to stop and breath but I could feel he was so close. It took everything in me to push a fourth time, then a fifth, and on that sixth push I felt him come out. Eric caught our sweet son, and I heard the most beautiful cry. He came out face up, and immediately opened his eyes. He was placed on my chest, and I just sobbed. It was over, he was here, and the relief over took me. I couldn't believe it.
Beckham Daniel Hunt was born on the 14th of October at 6:01 in the morning after thirteen hours of labor with no epidural. I did it. I can't believe I did it. When I look back on it, it doesn't even seem like it was me who experienced it, it's extremely surreal. Even though it was so hard, I feel like I have a positive birth story. The reason I wanted to do a natural birth was because I wanted to experience all of birth, every ounce of it. I marvel at the things a woman's body can do. We carry and grow children, we bear them, and then we are able to sustain them. How amazing is that? I really feel like nowadays women are so fearful of labor and childbirth, and yeah it's painful, of course it is, but our bodies are designed to withstand it and to conquer it. Pain for a purpose. It is so doable, and I'm so happy that I was surrounded with such an incredible support team who encouraged me that I was completely capable of birthing this baby.
We are so in love with our son, he is truly an angel. He's our own piece of Heaven and we are so grateful to God to have a chance to be earthly parents to one of his precious spirits. We also want to thank our dear friend Annie Ruby Photos for capturing all the emotion and beautiful moments we experienced that day. I'll treasure these photos and this video forever.
